Change Is Uncomfortable (so I fell in love with it)
I’m staying in a guesthouse outside of Seoul as I write this. I don’t speak Korean. I have no cell phone coverage. And I have no friends – (haha). It's an example of why change is uncomfortable (but necessary).
You see, I need to take a short trip out of Japan in order to return with a fresh tourist visa for another 90 days. I mean, it’s a fun “problem” to have, if I’m being honest.
But it does require some discomfort and inconvenience.
Of course, don’t get me wrong, South Korea is a beautiful country and I love visiting.
But I’m just here briefly, and will be busy working (and writing blog posts) the whole time. But we’ll dig deeper into the nuances of travel and discomfort later.
So this post is all about why change is necessary (i.e., its core benefits) and some tips that help me to better embrace it.
So let’s wrap up this chit chat – let’s get it.
Why Change Is Uncomfortable…
Are we hardwired for comfort?
Why do some people seem to thrive and grow in uncomfortable situations and challenges, while others struggle?
And why should we feel this jarring feeling when we live in a universe, on a planet and within systems that are constantly moving and evolving?
I hope I can answer some of these vexing questions. So let’s unpack things a bit.
First, is there a biological (or evolutionary) component to feeling uncomfortable with change?
Yes, there is.
Our brains are wired to recognize patterns and we crave them. Pattern recognition allows us to better predict outcomes and control our environment.
All of this translated to better chances for survival.
But change creates a pattern interrupt, which can cause our bodies to have a stress response as it enters a sort of fight, flight or freeze state.
Besides this, change often carries with it learning curves and more opportunities for pain or failure.
Of course, we tend to value these things in our modern cultures – at least on paper.
In practice though, change, failures and the pain of progress are usually uglier than the motivational speeches and videos had us believe.
But they’re crucial to our growth and development.
(but why change is necessary…)
The simple truth is this: change is uncomfortable, but necessary.
But why?
We’ve all heard the answer…answers. It’s ingrained in our cultural identity and social DNA (so to speak).
The only constant is change. Challenges make us stronger.
So this is a core reason why change is necessary. Nothing is stagnant. Seasons shift, people grow, cultures change, technology evolves – biology evolves, the universe expands…
Everything is always in a state of change or movement.
I suppose this is one of the benefits of meditation – being still and accepting the present moment as things are, etc. (but more on that later).
So everything is constantly in flux, so we need to be agile and adaptable to respond. Otherwise, we’ll be left behind, or miss opportunities.
It’s why adopting change is necessary. But what about change itself?
I believe everything can be organized into a sort of system, and all systems are connected to some degree.
Systems evolve and change as a way of improvement and adaptation.
I mean, what if we just stopped changing and iterating after the best horse and buggy carriages were made?
Or how about technology. We’re experiencing rapid shifts and momentum is growing in various, converging fields – AI, blockchain, robotics…
Everything is changing. But I’m an optimist. And I believe on the other side of change and large leaps forward are advancements and enhancements.
So change is necessary, because it creates growth and improvements through iterations and trying new things to evolve and push the story forward.
Change is a good thing to love. So let’s learn how to better embrace.
6 Tips to Fall In Love With Uncomfortable Change
These are things that I’ve experienced firsthand. They’ve all helped shape me in some way.
But this list is not exhaustive, so I’ll keep things updated as I come across new ideas and insights.
And of course, let me know in the comments below of any other hacks you’ve got!
1. Travel
One of the best pieces of advice for better embracing change is this: go traveling.
Travel is amazing. It’s adventure food for our human spirit.
But it can also be uncomfortable, and often unglamorous (especially traveling alone).
Still, the fact remains: you always become stronger – it’s always worth it in the end.
Travel forces you to think in new ways, use new language and adapt to new surroundings. It changes you.
Simply put, traveling is one of the best ways to start experiencing and falling in love with change.
And I can promise you this: if you start traveling to new and foreign places, you will be forced out of your comfort zones and you will have many uncomfortable moments.
These moments are epic though. They will completely change you, forever, and how you react in your normal daily life.
The end result? You’ll handle and embrace change and discomfort like an absolute pro.
2. Cultivate A Growth Mindset
Mindset is one of our greatest resources. It truly is everything.
And this is especially true for dealing with any discomforting feelings around change. Because how we perceive our reality dictates how we experience it.
Let’s unpack this idea a bit (and explore some tips for cultivating a change-embracing mindset).
Mindset is how we think and perceive our world based on a set of beliefs and attitudes.
There are two main types of mindset: a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.
A growth mindset is what we’re after. This is one that views challenge as opportunity and believes that any skill can be learned and any weakness can be strengthened.
A growth mindset is crucial to better respond to change.
Because if we respond to changes in our lives with an attitude of growth, excitement and opportunity, well, let’s just agree we’re going to be a lot happier.
So here are some key tips that have helped me cultivate a growth mindset:
Identify your current beliefs and perspectives
Challenge any fixed beliefs by studying neuroplasticity and exploring the evidence on the benefits of cultivating a growth mindset
Focus on incremental change and improvement (small steps forward)
Identify your goals and ideal future way of thinking
Hang around more people with a growth mindset
Be patient with yourself – change is slow
3. Stack the Deck In Your Favor
This next tip is powerful.
Because a lot of our behaviors, motivations and beliefs stem from the people, content and things in our lives.
This is nothing too terribly groundbreaking, and I think most of us can agree with this statement (at least to some extent).
But it’s all about identifying the things in our life that are (or aren’t) supporting our goals of better embracing change.
From here, it’s about changing what you can control (even if it’s just a few seemingly minor adjustments).
So what does stacking the deck in our favor look like, anyway?
For me, I like to focus on three key areas:
My inner circle
Do the people in my life embrace change?
My outer circle
Does the content I consume motivate me to embrace change?
My environment
Does my environment support change?
4. Start A Meditation Routine
Meditation has been a serious game changer for me.
And yes, I know I probably sound like a broken record regurgitating tired advice. But hear me out (if you haven’t tried meditation before).
It’s a fantastic way to calm our minds and bodies and to embrace the present moment. It’s all about getting to know yourself on a deeper level.
And it’s incredibly helpful for better controlling how we respond to the various pressures in our lives – including changes.
Meditation requires some work though. It’s not just sitting down and thinking about “nothing”.
For me, it’s more about becoming aware of my thoughts and noticing my urges to get up (but constantly settling my body back down).
It’s about tapping into elevated emotions, combined with strong visualization and gratitude.
It’s about embracing change and seeing the optimistic side of things (while not ignoring or rejecting the negative…as these are important for duality – like the roots of a tree).
But I’m no expert. Luckily, there are a ton of free resources online to learn more about meditation and to find a practice that works for you and your specific goals and preferences.
And if you do decide to give it a real chance, I can promise you it will help tremendously with better embracing change.
5. Talk It Out
Keeping things bottled up isn't the best strategy…
I mean, we don’t need to open up about everything, every day. But having a friend or a professional (like a therapist) to lean on every once in a while is cathartic.
It provides clarity and relief and eases the stress of change (and how we create various worst-case scenarios in our heads).
Of course, it’s easier said than done. But take stock of the people in your life and try talking things out with a close friend, a significant other or a family member.
Or, again, talking with a therapist is a great way to get things off your chest.
Either way, talking about your concerns or stresses over the changes you’re experiencing is incredibly helpful.
6. Learn and Stack New Skills
Skill building is a super powerful (and practical) way to embrace change.
This is especially true if concerns about change stem from career concerns, technological developments or staying competitive as a business or employee.
Learning new things is always in our favor.
It’s all about stacking skills and connecting seemingly unrelated dots. It’s finding new connections, overlaps and differentiation.
It’s strengthening your unfair advantage while simultaneously teaching you that you can learn any new skill or adapt to any new situation.
Ultimately, it helps you to better respond to and embrace any change that culture or society throws at you.
Easily adjusting to change requires flexibility and the ability to adapt to the new normal. A lot of this flexibility stems from having (or building) the right skills for the new future.
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