Self Pressure Be Gone (10 tips that work for me)
Self pressure sucks. I mean, it’s terribly unhelpful and is, well, a poor strategy for getting things done. But I suppose, this self-imposed squeeze cannot be helped.
Or can it?
Welcome to my top tips for how to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. These are the things that worked for me. And I hope they can help you too.
Or at the very least, I hope these ideas can act as important segues or inspiration for uncovering other solutions that do help in dealing with the general pressure of life.
Either way, the ideas here can serve as a simple reminder: it’s OK, and healthy, to cut ourselves a little slack every once in a while.
Because we’re probably doing a lot better than we give ourselves credit for.
So without further ado, let’s get it.
So, What Is Self Pressure?
First things first: definitions. So, what is self pressure?
Self pressure, or self-imposed pressure, is your mind imagining the expectations and thoughts of people. It creates internal feelings to not make a mistake or to perform poorly.
I think it’s fair to say that most everyone experiences some form of this.
I mean, it’s a pretty human thing, and the reality of social media and comparison culture don’t exactly help.
I suppose that’s why I wrote this post though. To share my experiences and help in any way I can.
So let’s move on to the good stuff.
Let’s shift focus and look at some effective ways to stop – or at least dampen – the negativity and stressful feelings that self-imposed pressure can create.
How to Stop Putting Pressure On Yourself (10 tips)
These are simply the things that have worked for me.
I’m not an expert, and I have no degrees or accolades in this subject. But what I do have is experience (and a long history of imposter syndrome, self doubt and creativity anxiety).
So I hope that some (or even one) of these can help in some way.
But of course, let me know in the comments below of any other tricks and tips you’ve got!
1. Look to Successful People (before they had success)
This first tip is a great reminder that everyone was once a beginner.
It’s easy to get caught up in unrealistic, unhelpful comparisons from curated content or snapshots of experts who spent decades honing their craft.
These can be great opportunities for inspiration, but we need the right mindset (more on that later).
So let’s shift this tactic slightly. Let’s refocus our attention on our hero’s origin stories, failures and humble beginnings.
Because we all have them (and if we didn’t, our stories would be pretty boring).
For example, whenever I feel bad that I don’t sound like a pitch-perfect American Idol winner when I sing, I can turn to this video of Ed Sheeran singing…well, poorly.
Or I can remind myself that Michael Jordan was moved to his JV team in high school by his coach, to sharpen his skills apparently.
Or the very fact that – according to Scientific American – failure is a necessary prerequisite before any success is realized.
There are countless examples.
And these things are incredibly helpful for alleviating that self-imposed pressure we all have.
So look to your personal icons and heroes, and explore their journey. Chances are, they dealt with their own fair share of setbacks, stumblings and pressures.
2. Change Nocebo Effects Into Placebo Effects
I love this next tip. It’s something that personally gives me an incredible sense of control in life.
Many of us have heard of the placebo effect.
This is where you experience some positive effect from some inert substance or input, simply because your mind believes or expects a positive outcome to happen.
For example, you take a sugar pill (that doesn’t do anything) expecting it to lessen your pain from, say, a headache. And magically, your headache gets better, because you expected it to.
It’s an inspiring example of the power of our minds. But there’s a caveat – the opposite is also true.
It’s called the nocebo effect and it’s when you experience the negative side effect from some inert thing or expectation of a result.
It’s just as powerful as the placebo effect, but just way less helpful and way less exciting.
So how does this help us with self-imposed pressure?
Three words: mind over matter.
Often, our self pressure is the result of some negative thought cycles, thinking patterns and/or beliefs and expectations about ourselves and how we should be.
So let’s flip the script.
Let’s reframe things as being positive pressures in our life. Let’s create a placebo effect of excitement rather than anxiety.
It can be hard to do (and can feel a bit strange at first), but getting into the habit of reframing your perspective and focusing on positive vibes is incredibly beneficial.
3. Adopt the Right Mindset
I think mindset is one of those things that sits at the top of almost every list covering success, getting ahead and becoming happier.
But for good reason – it works, it’s critical.
It’s everything.
But what is mindset exactly? Let’s start there.
This is my simple definition: mindset is the way we see, interpret and experience the world.
Put another way, how we interpret and experience our situations is predicated on our mindset.
So if we’re feeling a lot of self-imposed pressure, a great starting point to ask why, and then look at our mindset and analyze how we’re dealing with it.
For example, if we’re stuck in limiting thinking patterns and beliefs – such as a fixed mindset or one that focuses on negativity or stress – dealing with self pressure will be more difficult.
Conversely, if we adopt and practice a growth mindset and thinking patterns that are based on possibility and play, we can more easily navigate self-pressure moments.
We can change our interpretations around the pressure we put on ourselves. And with practice, we can change how we experience our reality.
This all sounds great, but I know it’s easier said than done (and potentially comes across a bit reductionist).
But I can tell you that mindset is a big factor to become aware of and to cultivate. It’s definitely something that’s helped me a lot.
So here are some tips for adopting a growth mindset:
Identify your current mindset, beliefs and thinking patterns
Visualize your ideal future self and practice it
Be curious – about everything (problems, paths forward, etc.)
Focus on learning – stack skills and connect the dots
Be patient with and kind to yourself
Reflect on the day
Start journaling
Become more aware of negative or fixed thinking patterns, and practice catching them in the moment
4. Start to Emotionally Live In Your Future Life
It’s so simple. It’s so obvious. Let’s just start to emotionally live in our future (without self pressure).
This requires some visualization, but it’s one of the best (and most fun) ways to start living your dream life.
This is actually something I only started doing recently, but I can tell it’s been a huge game changer in my own life, mindset and confidence as a creative.
Plus, it’s just a more fun way to go about the day.
I see it more like method acting and practicing my life before I step up “on stage”.
So take a moment and think about what your ideal future life looks like and feels like.
What are the emotions of your future life? Practice them and feel them now.
How would future you respond to moments of self-imposed pressure?
Practice and embrace those reactions rather than the current script.
It’s a simple – but effective – thought exercise. But I don’t know, it just works.
5. Start A Meditation Routine
A little introspection goes a long way. And that’s where meditation comes in.
Meditation is, after all, basically a way to know thyself.
My meditation routine has helped me to slow down and have better control over myself, my breath and my body (and its urge to continuously get up and do something).
But I’m a complete novice.
I mean, I’ve only just started meditating, but it didn’t take long for me to feel the benefits and experience changes in my life and perspectives.
It’s been incredibly helpful in how I deal with and analyze self-imposed pressure or negative self talk.
If you’re new to meditation, I’d suggest starting small and finding a style that suits your preferences and goals.
For example, when I first started, I’d just listen to some chill music and practice focusing on my breath or my thoughts for 3-5 minutes.
Soon after, I started dabbling in guided meditations, visualization and self awareness while sitting for an hour straight.
Currently, I tend to do a few 20-30 minute meditation blocks throughout the day – usually in the morning and the evening.
But find what works for you, and give it a fair shot. I can promise you there are only benefits to meditation.
6. Stack Your Deck
This one is simple and somewhat obvious, but powerful: stack the cards in your favor.
What I mean is, create an external environment that’s supportive and conducive to eliminating self pressure issues.
After all, it’s hard to make a change or stay inspired if our environment and the people we spend time with are having a negative effect on our mood, motivation and experience.
Luckily, there are some easy ways to start stacking the deck in your favor.
Here are three core areas I like to focus on:
Your inner circle
Who do you spend time with? Do they help or worsen your self-imposed pressure?
Your outer circle
Who do you listen to and what types of content do you consume?
Your environment
What sights, sounds, smells and atmosphere are you surrounded by? Is it motivating or does it add to your stress?
7. Fall In Love With Failure
I love failure. I embrace failure.
Truth be told, I’m quite adept at failure. A lot of this circles back to having the right mindset – you know, the one that welcomes mistakes as learning opportunities.
And it turns out, adopting this framework is a great way to suppress those feelings of self pressure.
But of course, it’s easier said than done. And it’s something I’m still practicing and getting better at.
A love of failure requires a love of process and an appreciation for how mistakes and setbacks are actually opportunities to learn something.
The process of success, reaching some goals and moving the goal post forward is rarely linear or straight.
It’s full of ups and downs and twists and turns.
It’s a story. And it teaches us. Failure gives us the insight, experience and knowledge that books can’t teach.
It’s a skill. It’s something we can repeat and use to build new dreams and achieve new goals.
So I say, embrace those setbacks and moments.
Reframe failure as your sensei.
8. Set Micro Goals. Take Small Steps.
Big goals are amazing. But they can leave us feeling a bit overwhelmed and can add a lot of pressure.
I mean, looking up at the top of the mountain from the bottom can feel daunting. Big goals take a long time.
So that’s why turning macro goals into micro ones is one of my top moves.
Here’s the basic process:
Identify your big, long-term goal
Break that goal down into smaller micro goals
Break down each micro goal further into nano goals and tasks
Once you have this map forward, based on taking small steps, you can start chipping away at those nano tasks daily.
In the beginning, it can feel like progress is slow, but I promise you, the math is on our side.
The power of compounding will turn those small, but consistent, daily actions into big results over time.
The punchline is this (and everyone knows it): if you show up everyday, and take action consistently, you’ll get better. Input creates output.
But the really great part about this process is how it alleviates self pressure.
Because big goals are exciting, but also daunting.
So tackling small steps each day is a way to sort of relax into the present moment, enjoy the process and rest assured that we’re doing exactly what we need to be doing each day.
9. Narrow Your Focus
Self pressure can sometimes pop up (or be worsened) because we try to focus on too many things.
Attention is finite, so narrowing our focus may be one quick way to nip things in the bud.
But again, it’s easier said than done. I mean, life gets busy and demands our attention in many places – especially if you’re juggling a family life or have kids.
But getting strategic with our focus is something I think everyone can do, at least to some extent.
So here are a few ways I keep my focus:
Timebox my daily tasks with project-specific scheduling
Use a workflow (← this is my music production workflow, but the principle apply to any subject)
Know your bottlenecks and create workaround for when they pop up
Track your daily habits to visualize your focus patterns
At the end of the day, no one is perfect. I still get distracted and find myself task-jumping from time to time.
Sometimes it works for me (sometimes not).
It’s all about becoming aware of these habits and having systems in place to address them (when needed).
It’s all about stepping back and enjoying the process. It’s about taking care of yourself.
So let’s wrap up this post on those last points.
10. Practice Self Care + Prioritize Yourself
Sometimes, we need a break.
Sometimes, we need to prioritize ourselves, practice self care and just have fun.
I love this advice (even if it does sound a bit generic).
Recently, I’ve been doubling down on the concept of “just have fun”. It’s been incredibly helpful in my current creative pursuits.
It’s way too easy to compare yourself to others, focus too much on what’s going wrong and to stress about the details, inefficiencies and steps ahead.
So I reframe things, by asking myself some simple questions:
Am I having fun?
And what would my 16-year-old self be doing and saying?
Back when I just had fun and loved making music in my bedroom, not for algorithms, accolades or praise
How would someone who is having genuine fun be feeling?
What would someone who is having genuine fun be doing and how would they approach these “problems” I’m experiencing
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